You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize