I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
