things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize