forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
