A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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