I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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