just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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