Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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