Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
