He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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