oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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