my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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