all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
