its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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