Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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