My room smells like vodka and shame
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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