i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
