Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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