Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
