FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
