I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
