Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
