I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
