this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
