but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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