I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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