oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
