SEEEEXXX PLEASE
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
