Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
