Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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