I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
