the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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