if you like me you must not know who I am
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
