Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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