Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
