I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
