I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
