Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
