If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
