Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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