Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the liver wants what the liver wants
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
