I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
