I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize