I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
