it hurts more in the daytime
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
