ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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