in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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