Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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