im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
