I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
