For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
