I cockslap morals
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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