1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
