Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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