Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
