I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
