The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Still dying that you shit outside
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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