i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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