You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's like iHOP with fire
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
